A story: My Professor of Nonfiction Writing at Willamette University was so light-skinned that I assumed she must have Irish or Welsh heritage.
After I turned in an essay about my racial identity, she shared hers. Her father is Mexican and holds Mexican citizenship. Her brother takes after him; she takes after her mother.

I have written extensively on here about the specifics of my racial identity, insofar as I want to share them. I’m not interested in sharing what countries my parents are from—like most Jews, half our family was lost in the diaspora. Entire relatives disappeared and reappeared. That’s the type of harm done to one’s bloodline through diaspora, and one must rebuild accordingly.

I imagine you are concerned that I am impersonating a mixed-race person. To what end? Why would I share my own traumatic experiences within my racialized family structure to—what, to earn $10 on Medium? Why would I betray my Ethnic Studies degree, my Master’s thesis in critical race theory, my POC mentors, my analysis of whiteness and my own privilege walking around in the world? Why would I betray the theoretical foundation of my entire life?

I am not going to tell you where my mother comes from. To me, that is a boundary.

Here is what I will tell you.
I do not apply for POC scholarships and never have. I do not apply for DEI positions or racial justice centered roles. I am not “out” in this aspect of my life in my workplace. Whatever professional gain I have ever in my entire life experienced from this identity comes from the essays I publish on Medium under a pseudonym, with the intent of sharing my pain and connecting with others who have had similar experiences.

You will note that I do not solicit readers for any other site here. I do not request anything of anybody.

You have a right to not believe me. Many white women have lied about this, famously. Yet I do question what you want from me, a stranger on the internet, and what you feel entitled to, and why. For my chronically ill barely left the house in 4 years skeleton-white skin to change? A map of my grandparents’ lives? I don’t think I can give you what you need, or not exactly, but I hope this post will clarify my approach to this topic and more specifically, will demonstrate my refusal to exploit this identity for profit.