Actually, I don't think this problem even originates with women. The medical establishment literally calls it "erectile dysfunction" if a man is continually not aroused by his wife, presumably without asking first whether she might be emotionally abusive or he has a history of trauma. Similarly, men who come 'too fast,' whatever that means, are labeled disordered. It's no wonder men need to dissociate during sex. With all the absurd focus on men's performance and stigmatization of men who can't be ready for sex whenever she is, it's a wonder men are ever able to enjoy sex or be present for it at all.

That aside: women totally need to practice good consent, too.

That being said, I've definitely had a guy take me to task for asking him flat-out whether he wanted to have sex with me. I think my directness really bothered him, and my blase attitude about sex in general struck him as unfeminine. Still, his discomfort with those things did not add up to the major boundary violation he seemed to think they did.

That conversation did teach me, though, that many men still equate 'boundaries' with 'social norms.' That..is troubling, to say the least.