All of what you said hit me so hard. I’m used to getting attention, but not romantic attention-sexual attention. Fetishizing attention. Attention that makes me feel uncomfortable and dehumanized. Attention that is an invitation to experiences I don’t want to have, with people I don’t want to have these experiences with.
At the same time, other women notice this attention and denigrate me for it. No matter how conservatively I dress. Short of taping down my breasts or wearing deliberately unattractive clothes, other women hate me and deliberately try to tear me down out of insecurity. The exception is women who are not insecure, and that’s rare.