Dayenu

I dream of Birthright almost every night.

I am running for the bus, as it leaves without me. I went back to find him that night he abandoned me, but he was already gone.

I am running for the bus, but I need to use the bathroom and I am making all of us late. I didn’t see him on the bus once and my stupid heart stupid seized and I stupid didn’t even know him at all.

I am not sure I know him now. Every pop psychologist with a degree in English or counseling believes only losers fall in love in the traditional way. Everyone else falls in love over time, over months and years, but if you happen to be in a different social demographic than your beloved then you will never get the chance.

I didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t do anything wrong, exactly, except forget that poor people are different from rich people, women are different than men, disabled than able-bodied, queer than cis, etc. Or perhaps you could say, I forgot that love is not a cure for privilege. Just as true.

Privilege always hides pain. I knew that, but then an awful lot of people I trusted insisted my privilege was more important than all forms of my marginalization that made them feel uncomfortable. People hurt me, and I called it my fault but it was antisemitism.

In high school my best friend fell in love with me. She was Jewish and more Jewish looking than me. I made fun of her with our other friends behind her back. I’m sure what was supposed to be so terrible about her. She was honestly herself in high…