Definitely agree that the deeper point is that women who are members of minority or marginalized cultures are supposed to be available to provide emotional support and respond to the desires of men but not have desires of our own, let alone have an expectation that men respond to what we want and need from them. It’s the same with Jewish men. Dating is about their preferences from childhood and that’s reinforced by the adults and history and culture. Women are supposed to be enticing and cute but not actually have our own desires. When we do either express interest or express boundaries or just generally assert power—the roof caves in.