Hey! I’m white/passing but my mom is a woman of color and I’m Jewish, which makes me complicated.
I’ve definitely experienced what you’ve described.
Several times, in the middle of a fairly close friendship with a white woman, she has started to pull away then come out with something like “well you disrespected my boundaries that one time months ago by oversharing, or focusing too much on yourself, or not reading my mind.”
Basically, what this amounts to is that we got too emotionally intimate for them to safely navigate or deal with.
At this point, they either get emotionally abusive or start hitting on me or both.
It’s because they suck at navigating intimacy with other women.
Their friendships with other white women are actually complex hierarchical exchanges.
The goals of white women is to maintain the social order, and that means they can’t let anyone close enough to disrupt their perceptions of the world.