I appreciate your thoughtful response. I think it’s great that people are recognizing that they have experienced abuse in romantic relationships. However, my suggestion is that the motive behind that abuse doesn’t matter. What matters is the interpersonal interaction and the impact on the individual.
I think that too often, many of us with less social power, especially women, try to justify our experiences with logic. We want to understand and explain why a thing happened. We think others will believe us if we do that.
We shouldn’t have to.