I blame the 90s.

My generation was told we could do, have, and be everything we ever wanted.

That, friends, is what is called a LIE.

I am a woman. I am also genderqueer and sexually queer (demisexual) and Jewish and disabled and fat and currently working class, which means..you guessed it. In the Game of Life Under Capitalism, which is basically a game of collect all forms of privilege you can grab, I have basically none of them.

Except being a person of color. But my mother is. So I still have a lot of the internalized racist crap and my point is, that I really was never meant to survive. I was never meant to survive my life.

The good news is, I can stop blaming myself.

The nice Jewish lawyer was never going to nice Jewish pick me over the nice Jewish blonde girl with the Harvard degree and the nubile young body. I was never going to Columbia and I was never going to be on the cheerleading squad in high school and I was never going to become president of anything at all but you know what?

None of that is my fault.

It’s not because I’m not nice enough. Or because my brand sucks. It’s not because I’m ugly, or awkward, or too cynical, or not cynical enough. I am at the bottom of every heap I have ever been in and I am picked last for every team I have ever tried out for and I will never have a date on Friday night.

Anyone who says otherwise didn’t read the fine print of this life. Anyone who ever says otherwise is a liar.