I hear you and I agree with you on almost every point-but I want to narrow in on this idea of self-victimization. Because while I absolutely agree that women can choose to place value in the passive roles we are cast in — we need to distinguish between that and how others treat us. If someone chooses to do violence to us, that’s their choice. Women have got to stop confusing the choices we make, the actions we take, with the actions men take. That self-blame perpetuates our mistrust of women. It causes us to treat ourselves and others with the derision that belongs in the laps of perpetrators, not women who follow society’s advice and make ourselves vulnerable as we’re taught to do.