I love you. Thank you for this gift.

And I agree with your analysis. I have had similar interactions with other broken men with disorganized attachment styles and a lot of insecurity around their masculinity. Unfailingly, they would hit on me, obviously and overtly (often sing a romantic song, often enact very determinedly toxic masculine norms in the name of impressing me then start negging me when it didn’t work.) eventually I’d return their feelings, try to have a direct conversation and really connect, also try to talk to them about part of their behavior that wasn’t ok or seemed triggering or inappropriate, and share part of my trauma. They’d respond by shrieking “boundaries!” In much the same way people call offsides in soccer. Like I wasn’t playing fair. I was supposed to sit still and be hit on. Not actually talk to them. Not have a story of my own.
For years, this has really fucked me up.
And to be fair, when I was a teenager, I was so sensitive that I would fall for guys who showed mild interest in me and feel guilty when I mildly rejected them and then way overshare to try to “fix” it even if they were terrible people.
Guess I still do that a bit, except I fool myself into thinking guys who act like they’re crazy about me really are.
Fuckers.