I think it takes longer for some of us than others due to external circumstances like disability. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to hold down a full-time job because of mine, though I’m also really struggling physically right now. That said, I also witness how others conduct their intimate lives and I do think there’s a difference, eventually. At least, there’s a difference between people who develop good committed relationships as opposed to attaching to the nearest available surface.
I think the difference is knowing where one’s traumas lie and taking the time to resolve the past before moving forward into the future.