I think there’s a lot of fragility that goes into refusing to try to resolve conflict.
I’m autistic and people often feel triggered or hate me because I say something they find offensive, or I can’t read the social expectations in a tense situation and I do something they find upsetting. But what I’ve learned is that this often happens in situations that feel undefined or don’t have unclear boundaries. I think some situations or people use boundaries as a weapon because that’s what has been done to them. Men especially do that when dealing with women they see as less socially powerful.