I took a very long workshop series about narcissism, specifically about living with a narcissistic mother. It helped me a lot.
I can see how hard it is for her to be vulnerable and how she chooses people who are very avoidant and let themselves be walked on and make her into the emotional center. I was willing to do that for awhile and the relationship worked that way. Now I stand up for myself and it’s making her behave in all of these ways that are just so crazy and inappropriate-while still very clearly expecting me to take care of her in the ways she’s used to. It’s almost upsetting to watch. But it does demonstrate how when we change, we don’t put up with the same bad treatment we used to anymore, and then other people have to change too-or expose that they were dependent on our addiction and self-harm.