I understand where you're coming from.

The author seems to me to be arguing that it is important to put reasonable limits on this conversation. Unfortunately, people come from different backgrounds and never will agree on what that actually comprises.

I personally believe that people approach dating with different intentions. Some people are looking for physical attraction only, in which case, I'd prefer they self-identify so that I can weed them out.

When I'm looking for a hookup, I'm looking for a person's physical characteristics only.

When I'm looking for a real connection, I don't give a shit what that person looks like because if I care for them, they're beautiful to me.

I figure that's probably how most of us are.

But yes, you're right about the double standard. It does suck. I've similarly argued against the idea that it's somehow acceptable for women to talk shit about men's penis size. It's bizarre and cruel.