Is it possible for a community to act according to narcissistic values?
Or to protect a narcissist?
I was living with one recently and he would veer back and forth between acting totally into me, but then getting angry or passive aggressive or really cruel in response to any perceived rejection, insult, or boundary.
Eventually I tried getting vulnerable and telling him how I felt, but also trying to name his behavior and identify its impact on me. He freaked out and insisted I had violated his boundaries—boundaries he assumed I should know without being told.
My boundaries to not be hit on by someone in a serious relationship, and not be treated that way, were of course never part of the discussion.
Then when I didn’t immediately start over apologizing but just started dating someone else and moved on, and wasn’t afraid of him, he told his friends I had victimized him and made me out to be a monster. All with zero self awareness or accountability for his own actions.
Obviously I would never want to hurt anyone or violate their boundaries.
But this was a situation where he had way more power than me, and he was using it in ways that were harmful, for weeks.
I feel like he was just looking for an excuse to go to war with me because I could see through his fake self.