It bothers me because I want sex to be more than fucking. I want sex to be meaningful, mysterious, loving, powerful. I believe men want that, too. Yet it feels like they reject us specifically because they want us so badly. The men who've lashed out at me with the most cruelty and violence are those who wanted me but felt they couldn't, or shouldn't, for one reason or another. I'm someone many men seem to be attracted to, yet not interested in acknowledging their attraction to, because I'm disabled and fat and therefore hold little value on the capitalist marketplace. That leaves me in danger.