It can be painful. But—the part that’s easy to forget is, if someone’s under immense stress? They are being victimized. Maybe they misunderstand the source of their stress, which is common for BPD, since we understand connection as inherently stressful and separation for us can be even worse because we feel our flashbacks then.
But if someone is so stressed out, they truly are being harmed.
My BPD symptoms arise when I’m being abused. Maybe the perpetrators don’t recognize their behavior as abuse, that happens often. Frankly, though, as a disabled person, it’s pretty obvious how often people cause immense pain, never notice, and don’t want to be told.
People are too often told that because we’re traumatized, we can’t trust our present experiences. Then when we behave accordingly, we don’t fight when we should, and we get stressed out, and we cause harm. But that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to be listened to. It means we should be listened to more.