It is so hard to accept that the seemingly kind, reasonable person who seemed so into me is also the guy who poured, postured, glared, manipulated, and insulted me as soon as he wanted something from me that I was not ready to give — or simply when I asked him to tell me flat out what he wanted, to own up to his feelings.

I grew up in a patriarchal culture. All our men have evidence of narcissism.

It’s just hard to accept that I’m not the reason why this person, or my mother, treated me badly. It’s them. I didn’t provoke them. They just treat people this way because they can.