It’s confusing because on the one hand, if som tells me that I’ve hurt them, of course I want to apologize and make up for it. But I also recognize that it’s cruel and destructive and evil to make an accusation but refuse to discuss it, or induce silent treatment but behave passive-aggressively at the same time. I know what gaslighting and projection are, with my adult self. But my child self does not know those things and just feels hurt.