It's one thing to lose your temper every once in a while, because your trauma is majorly triggered or because you are very sleep deprived or for some other external reason that is largely out of your control. It is another thing entirely to have a habit of unloading on the people who care most about you, particularly if those people have less social standing than you. If a person cannot be responsible enough to manage their own time, energy, emotions, and basic life responsibilities, they are not able to be in a healthy relationship.