Sorry for highlighting your entire piece.
This essay is so brilliant and so very exactly what I need right now.
I’ve been exploring my own transmasc sexuality and watching how everyone around me loses their shit when I do. When I as a femme-presenting person set boundaries, make requests of those around me, insist on my subjectivity, and refuse to place the needs of those around me above my own, others react consistently as though I am doing them harm. The idea that by refusing to obey the norm of femininity, I am violating their rights, seems prevalent even in queer communities if those queer communities are also religious or organized around the needs of individual white men. It’s mind-boggling to me to be confronted with such a degree of hatred and misogyny from within communities that believe they are “safe” yet I know safety does not exist without a kind of self-sacrifice most are not willing to make.