The point though isn’t the personality traits someone has, it’s the choices that they make. All of the advice to look out for evidence of “narcissism” totally fails to obey that basic concept. What makes someone who they are is the choices that they make. We all have some degree of narcissism. That’s likely to come out under certain kinds of pressures. But if we’re all running around trying to catch each other out for the personality traits we have, we miss the fact that what’s wrong is when other people make choices to hurt us.
Your ex abused you. They’re an ABUSER. If it helps you to call them a narcissist because it makes you feel special, that seems like something for you to look at in yourself.