How the Term ‘Stalker’ is Misused to Shame Women

First of all, and let’s just get this out of the way — ‘stalking’ is one of those terms that means different things to men vs women. Men hear the term ‘stalking’ and they think about that time a girl kept texting them after they wanted it to be over; or that time a girl showed up at their work after a breakup and it was awkward; or that time a girl researched them on social media and whipped out facts they hadn’t told her about over lobster dinner.

Women hear the term ‘stalking’ and we think about that time an ex showed up literally everywhere we might possibly be, thinking he was being romantic. We think about our friend who had to take out a restraining order against an ex-boyfriend with a penchant for screaming uncontrollably or threatening to smash her face in. We think about women’s shelters, finger-shaped bruises, men who send us rape and murder threats on the internet.

Men’s worst nightmare is Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction boiling their bunnies. Statistically, this is a fairly unlikely outcome. That’s why there are so few men’s shelters, or restraining orders against women, or websites offering advice to men trying to escape domineering, controlling, and toxic women.

Women’s worst nightmare is that the guy on Facebook who threatens to chop our heads off then rape our naked corpses might be serious. Or…