What bothers me most is how she goes for my throat when I make myself vulnerable.
When a healthy human being apologizes, another human being apologizes too.
Or else they do not accept the apology, because they do not want to engage, but they do privately consider their own part in the conflict.
With her, when I soften, she gets harder.
It’s as though she is only comfortable in a living situation in which either there is conflict, or else she can stand over my bleeding corpse.
Nothing else will suffice for her.
That is terrifying.