1. When you are a broken thing somehow

even love begins to seem monstrous

abrupt and gruesome

cruel and stripped

and you

are a mud-streaked dusky thing

you belong to the swampland

you belong to the muck of mother’s wounds

and he —

the world echoes ‘not enough’

and you pursue goodness like

the world fill fold goodness into your hands like

good will spill between your fingers as liquid like

his smiles can be bought with the coin of your misery like

there is a reason why, and that reason

is saving him

saving him is reason enough

you are the enemy

seems true and to the point

you are the monster

truth black as coal and you clung to it

you hated the dark

the way you were taught to do, you

thought he would hate the dark in you too

2. Dear girl

he will teach you how to shine, one day

stop moping

sullen girl was ’90s era hot

for not so white not so thin girls

who white boys wanted to fuck for free