Your marriage sounds utterly miserable.
Also? Doesn’t sound like hubby has an invisible illness necessarily.
I have an invisible illness.
Most of us spend years fighting for a diagnosis. Sometimes we get stigmatized and mistreated along the way. But he just sounds depressed and chronically ill, and there’s a fine line.
Men especially sometimes cause physical health disasters through their own behavior.
If he’s complaining but not going to the actual DR—just saying.